A Good Parent Questions Himself While a Bad One Judges Others

A parent starts from scratch every day and runs until empty, hoping he has done something right, that one of his lessons actually sticks.

But he won’t know for a while. Not for years. And the lack of feedback, direct or otherwise, makes the job even harder, making it very easy to succumb to self-doubt.

This is why judgment from other parents is so obnoxiously redundant. Every decent parent already constantly questions his own parenting.

Here is a small sampling of the questions that run through nearly every parent’s head nearly every single day:

• Am I doing this right?
• Am I patient enough?
• Do I yell too much?
• Will he turn out OK?
• Am I giving her everything she needs?
• Is he too young to watch Star Wars?
• Am I setting him up for success?
• Am I too hard on her?
• Am I too easy on him?
• Does she know how much I love her?
• Am I too distracted?
• Am I too preoccupied?
• Am I holding her back?
• Is this much mac and cheese really healthy?
• Am I spoiling him?
• Am I depriving her?
• Do I expect too much from him?
• Do I discipline enough?
• Do I discipline too much?
• Do I spend enough time with him?
• Am I too selfish?
• Do I work too much?
• Is she too dependent on me?
• Am I smothering him?
• Does she eat enough vegetables?
• Does he eat too much junk food?
• Does she watch too much TV?
• Does he get enough exercise?
• Am I too protective?
• Am I good role model?
• Is he learning the right things from me?
• Am I a good parent?
• Is it too early for a drink?

I know I’ve missed around ten thousand of these. What are some of the parenting questions you ask yourself every day?

A version of this first appeared on Dad and Buried.